So I golf, I don’t really talk too much about it because it’s not really what my blog is about but I do it. I’ve been golfing since I was 9 or 10 years old, been a member at the same club forever and played on the golf team in high school. I’m well aware that the sport is male-dominated… I’m well aware that most sports are male-dominated. So it’s not really a surprise that when it comes to things like equipment and attire that the selection for women across multiple brands is the same size that one brand would put out for men. That’s annoying, to say the least, but obviously, there are fewer women meaning less demand so less supply.
When it comes to actually play the game, I’ve been given some backhanded compliments recently by members of my club who’ve seen me hit my driver. Either because they are passing the tees or have played through etc. This compliment is a variation on “You hit the ball far for a girl”… well, thanks you hit the ball well for an old white guy… or an Asian guy or a teenage boy… LIKE excuse me why do the adjectives matter? Seriously, if you are going to compliment me for being a girl able to generate enough speed on my club head to drive 200+ yards then you might as well compliment me for being half-Asian, half- white and able to hit it 200+ yards. Like that has NOTHING to do with my abilities, nor does my gender.
Let’s unpack this and why these small backhanded comments matter.
FIRST OF ALL. In 2018, the fact that you have to qualify a compliment with “For a Girl” is sexist. Let’s just lay it all out there, saying that I can hit my driver far “for a girl” means that my achievement is only impressive because of my gender. Well, I’d like to point out that women can shoot the same score in golf as men because your drive is only 1 stroke. My drive is decently long there’s no denying that, in actuality, my drive is longer than the casual male golfers. Obviously, there are guys who don’t play in the PGA that have really long drives but on whole most guys will drive the ball 220ish yards. Considering, that that is my current average drive I’d say that I just hit it well. Also, pound for pound I hit the ball the same distance if not further than most guys… so really I hit the ball far for my weight, not my gender.
SECOND, backhanded compliments are shitty no matter what the situation. Seriously, what’s wrong with dropping a simple “good drive” or “nice shot”. Why do some people need to add the but? So for future, be a good person, just leave the compliment as a compliment.
Finally. For the most part, I was the one who taught myself how to hit the ball as far as I hit it. My dad and various camps have taught me some things throughout the years but my swing is all me, the technique and minutia my dad has definitely helped me through for sure and he helps me with aim etc. but the distance is straight up me. By qualifying my ability with my gender you’ve made it seem like my being a girl is the only reason why what I can do is impressive. It completely diminishes the accomplishment. This happens in EVERY aspect of our lives… in business “oh you are good at this job… for a girl” or “oh you are a great VP… for a girl”, in life “oh you can cook a good steak… for a girl”, in sport “oh you can run fast… for a girl”. Like you couldn’t have just said “you did a really great job” or “thanks for the steak, it’s delicious”. NONO. Women doing something that a man can also do doesn’t make us good “for a girl”. It just makes it good, or impressive or whatever other compliments… no “for a girl” needed.
Honestly, all things considered… you wish you could hit like a girl because we don’t hold back.
xoxo Steph
