Rockefeller is a world unto itself. Tucked between avenues cushioned by sky scrapers the sounds of traffic and tourists fighting through hoards of different tourists makes you feel that this is what the good city life must be. Sitting in what is normally a skating rink during the colder months you look up to the towering buildings looming above you and can’t see any stars. Being so close to Times Square the potential for seeing anything other than an airplane trailing across the illuminated navy blue is not feasible. Sitting at it’s lowest point you wonder what you look like to those souls who have traversed up to the “Top of the Rock”, if their view from above is awe inspiring or humbling, considering how small we as humans must seem from above if anything except the structures we have built to support us are visible. If looking out across a concrete jungles liberates your imagination or looking up at great heights stirs your internal need to fly.
Children dream about unimagined places to the adult mind but to a child they are real only tangible in dreams and fiction. Do we lose our dreams as we age or are they shaped into a realistic image of society? Is the Creative still a child or has the Suit diverged reality and aspiration.
I’ve found myself wondering about what I want to do in life and where I want life to take me. As I age and I have more and more responsibility added to my plate and increasing pressures surrounding business school and life after my undergrad I seem to lose sight of what I really want more and more. Shaping myself to the ideal candidate for the most prestigious of positions caring more about the reality around me than the one that I created for myself. Growing up means losing the time to day dream and wander. Your carefree ability to get lost in a park on a sunny afternoon and sit to yourself with your own thoughts. Your own thoughts become elusive beings, creatures of habit that form about what is next on your omniscient, never ending to do list of life.
My simple answer is I want to be happy. If being happy entails financial stability than I want financial stability. If happiness is fulfilling myself internally and pursuing my dreams than so be it. In chasing my dreams and finding myself, people will come and go and people have came and left. There will be pessimists and optimists but only you will be the truest realist.
I think about who I want to be when I grow up as just me. I never really feel any different with the passing of time, I don’t think anyone does. We are all just ourselves.
XOXO Steph
